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Family

I sense the greatest love within my family when my house is packed with relaives or friends. Right now, we've got my whole immediate family, plus brother in law, niece, and aunt. It's really something special to feel comfortable late at night sitting in my livingroom alone while listening to the sound my brother in law walking his baby girl to sleep right above me. Everyone else is asleep except for us, but nobody seems to mind that there's a cooing baby right outside their bedroom door. I feel freer to live here when this house is jam packed because all we need is eachother's presence and the sound of a cooing baby outside your room or the cling-cling of the computer game is the reassurance that those you love are right here with you, not an annoyance.

This evening my aunt went to bed early, yet the rest of us stayed up spending time together watching tv, reading, being on the internet, doing sudoku, talking... it was nice. I felt no obligation to be with them, I just wanted to. I didn't feel as though they had to entertain me or I had to entertain them, like I usually do when it's just my parents, youger sister, and I. As usual, I got a few lovely back rubs without owing one in return :] We just love eachother so much that knowing we are all present is enough.

How wonderful.

New perspective- ftw :]

oh the trivialities of this life
that upset me so much
oh how silly i can be :]
i have nothing to complain about
i have much to rejoice about
i have much to laugh about
to sing about
to love
and share

healing brings the feeling
of newness
appreciation
and peace

changing brings the rearranging
of my priorities
my viewpoint
and my heart

thank you
everyone
you are wonderful people
thoughtful
loving
and precious to me
i thank god for you all

Awww, haha

This is an Englishified version of a Korean song.

exactly the way i feel.

Sara Bareilles song "Gravity":

"something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long
no matter what i say or do
i sitll feel you here
'til the moment you're gone

you hold me without touch
you keep me without chains
i never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love
and not feel your rain

set me free, leave me be
i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
here i am and i stand so tall
just the way i'm supposed to be
but you're on to me and all over me

you loved me cause i'm fragile
when i thought that i was strong
but you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone

set me free, leave me be
i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
here i am and i stand so tall
just the way i'm supposed to be
but you're on to me and all over me

i live here on my knees
as i try to make you see
that you're everything i think i need
here on the ground
but you're neither friend nor foe
though i can't seem to let you go
the one thing that i still know
is that you're keeping me down
you're keeping me down
you're on to me and all over me

something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long"

Look at me, I'm learning and I'm growing!

Going through one of my first heartbreaks has allowed me to re-evaluate my priorities. I had forgotten how important a hug from a friend is, pursuing my dreams, abmitions, and artistic expression, and communication with God and my family.

I have learned and I have changed.

My vulnerability has been pushed to the extreme. I feel like perhaps I am more humble now. I feel much smaller, more open, more raw, and more experienced. I am able to relate to people that I wasn't able to before.

Maybe I won't be the same person after this. And maybe it's a good thing.

picking apart the pieces of my heart
examining each piece, one by one
handing them out to whoever i please
but please give it back once you are done

i can't afford to let you keep my heart
if you don't wish to keep me always
or at least give me the chance i deserve
i will give my best to the one who stays

look at me, such a naive little girl
didn't know that i was in danger
i gave out the best piece yet to someone
but now it's been wasted on a stranger

i keep hoping my stranger will change his mind
to stop being a stranger and come back
i wish we'd be free to do what we like
let's rewind time and take it all back