Family

I sense the greatest love within my family when my house is packed with relaives or friends. Right now, we've got my whole immediate family, plus brother in law, niece, and aunt. It's really something special to feel comfortable late at night sitting in my livingroom alone while listening to the sound my brother in law walking his baby girl to sleep right above me. Everyone else is asleep except for us, but nobody seems to mind that there's a cooing baby right outside their bedroom door. I feel freer to live here when this house is jam packed because all we need is eachother's presence and the sound of a cooing baby outside your room or the cling-cling of the computer game is the reassurance that those you love are right here with you, not an annoyance.

This evening my aunt went to bed early, yet the rest of us stayed up spending time together watching tv, reading, being on the internet, doing sudoku, talking... it was nice. I felt no obligation to be with them, I just wanted to. I didn't feel as though they had to entertain me or I had to entertain them, like I usually do when it's just my parents, youger sister, and I. As usual, I got a few lovely back rubs without owing one in return :] We just love eachother so much that knowing we are all present is enough.

How wonderful.

New perspective- ftw :]

oh the trivialities of this life
that upset me so much
oh how silly i can be :]
i have nothing to complain about
i have much to rejoice about
i have much to laugh about
to sing about
to love
and share

healing brings the feeling
of newness
appreciation
and peace

changing brings the rearranging
of my priorities
my viewpoint
and my heart

thank you
everyone
you are wonderful people
thoughtful
loving
and precious to me
i thank god for you all

Awww, haha

This is an Englishified version of a Korean song.

exactly the way i feel.

Sara Bareilles song "Gravity":

"something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long
no matter what i say or do
i sitll feel you here
'til the moment you're gone

you hold me without touch
you keep me without chains
i never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love
and not feel your rain

set me free, leave me be
i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
here i am and i stand so tall
just the way i'm supposed to be
but you're on to me and all over me

you loved me cause i'm fragile
when i thought that i was strong
but you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone

set me free, leave me be
i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
here i am and i stand so tall
just the way i'm supposed to be
but you're on to me and all over me

i live here on my knees
as i try to make you see
that you're everything i think i need
here on the ground
but you're neither friend nor foe
though i can't seem to let you go
the one thing that i still know
is that you're keeping me down
you're keeping me down
you're on to me and all over me

something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long"

Look at me, I'm learning and I'm growing!

Going through one of my first heartbreaks has allowed me to re-evaluate my priorities. I had forgotten how important a hug from a friend is, pursuing my dreams, abmitions, and artistic expression, and communication with God and my family.

I have learned and I have changed.

My vulnerability has been pushed to the extreme. I feel like perhaps I am more humble now. I feel much smaller, more open, more raw, and more experienced. I am able to relate to people that I wasn't able to before.

Maybe I won't be the same person after this. And maybe it's a good thing.

picking apart the pieces of my heart
examining each piece, one by one
handing them out to whoever i please
but please give it back once you are done

i can't afford to let you keep my heart
if you don't wish to keep me always
or at least give me the chance i deserve
i will give my best to the one who stays

look at me, such a naive little girl
didn't know that i was in danger
i gave out the best piece yet to someone
but now it's been wasted on a stranger

i keep hoping my stranger will change his mind
to stop being a stranger and come back
i wish we'd be free to do what we like
let's rewind time and take it all back

from happiest of happinesses
to saddest of sadnesses
isn't it strange how one person
can change all my hopes and dreams

there is a new found guiltiness
that has been placed in my heart
i've been taken advantage of
now i'm wearing it on my sleeve

this boy came and went like the wind
though we both cherish each other
he followed his heart at first
and then he made up his mind

i cannot force him to keep me
for this short period of time
so i wish to change all my plans
so i can hold his hand once again

i wish we'd never even met
cause all i want is to be by his side
though he says to just be friends
he can never heal the scars he's left

Perfect

Today has been the perfect normal day :]

First of all, the class I had this morning was so interesting and even moving. We had a guest lecturer speak on photo ethics. This man, Mike Zerby, is a professional photographer for the STrib and has been all over the world, not to mention covering the war in Iraq. He even got a little choked up because he is so frustrated that people refuse to be faced with the cold hard truth.

Secondly, work was surprisingly slow and painless.

Thirdly, Anita gave me Korean food that her parents made for dinner! That was the perfect thing for me to eat after my night class.

Fourthly, I have very little homework to stress about since I turned in a paper this morning. It feels good to have that out of the way and all if have to do is make Korean vocab flashcards and read an interesting book. Nice.

Fifthly, Michelle called me up for a chat and made me laugh so hard.

And finally, I feel free to end my day with an episode of Goong... which is okay, but watching tv is relaxing and mindless ^_^;

:D

Simple things like this make my day. I'm serious. Sometimes I feel like such a rotten or unwanted person, but when someone simply expresses apprectiation I feel a million times better!

Yes, I AM eating it

The Pepero I was planning on giving to someone, that is. While talking to my baby sister, we both concluded that the best thing is to not give him my Pepero. Instead, I am enjoying it. TAKE THAT all you Koreans and your Pepero day. No more "Mister Nice Girl"... I'm just gonna pretend like I don't even care XD

untitled

don't worry, i'm not this emo in reality. i'm just trying to be poetic :]


i vow
to never act on my hearts desire
to never let myself be hurt again
to never care about how you see me
to never be as thoughtful as i can

because
when i care i am faced with rejection
when i care your words stick more than a tack
when i care i start to think i'm not enough
when i care i hardly receive it back

i'm lost
and i'm giving up
and i'm not turning back
and i'm not waiting for you
and i'm waiting for no one now

...yet

who will see me?
who will find me?
who will save me?
who will love me?

Pedro

As I was riding the bus back to school, I heard someone behind me say, "Excuse me miss, what are you reading?" I turned around to show them the book I was reading and explained that the title is The Dwarf, that it is a Korean book translated into English, and that I am reading it for one of my Korean classes. Then he told me that he had been to South Korea before. I replied and then went back to reading.

About a minute after I continued reading, he asked me another question, "Why are you taking Korean classes?" and I said that I am planning on moving there after college. He asked me why and I told him how I'd like to get a job with Korean Air... not necessarily as a stewardess-- I didn't explain to him about my whole passion of uplifting women or about my wanting to start a tea shop and my interest in North Korean refugees. But after I simply told him that I'd like to work in Korea, he was chuckling and said, "you are the most interesting person I've ever met." I was a little suprised. I smiled and laughed as I thanked him for the compliment.

I continued to read some more, and again, after a couple minutes of reading he asked me if I had ever been to Korea before. I said no, but that I am hoping to study there next year. He told me that he had been there with the Marine Corps. When he was on tour he said he saw swaztikas used in many places as a religious symbol. He kept failing at trying to explain it. Each time as he would start trying to explain the swaztikas he would pause, at a loss for words. Which happened many times throughout our whole conversation... he smelt like insence and kept acting overwhelmed when he would try to explain things and his eyes were pretty glazed over too......... hahaha.

We chatted for a little bit longer about subjects other than Korea. I liked his name. Pedro. Haha. I was surprised when he told me his name because he does not look like a Pedro to me. As he got off the bus he wished me luck while I'm in Korea.

Good luck to you too, Pedro!

The Reason for Me and My Little Kid Backpack

If any of you have ever wondered why I occasionally carry around a little kid backpack... Mark Lowndes is the reason why. He played for my DTS once and he had made his own box that you stomp on for percussion (no, it's not a "stomp box" it's a box you stomp on, just gotta make that clear)... and he carried said box in a little kid backpack. And it I thought it was the coolest thing ever.

When you watch this video, you will be able to see his home made stomping box on stage ^.^

보고싶어요. 정말요.
and I didn't think I would. 너무 힘들어요. :(

Katlyn sent me a letter

and I received it today. It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. A couple weeks ago she said she had something for me. She also said that she knew I'd love it. So inside of her pen and ink written letter were a gold wax seal candle and stamp. Boy does she know me well! First of all, gifts is one of my top love languages. To me, the more thoughtful a gift is, the more you show me you love me. The reason it's so thoughtful is because I would use a wax seal to seal my letters and cards with. She remembered that small detail about me. Another reason it was so thoughtful is because of the things she wrote in the letter. She encouraged me with her words. She took the time to write it.. it took her two days since she had to let the front side dry before writing on the back side (and yes, it was TWO sides... she wrote THAT much!).

I wish people wrote more encouraging letters to eachother. You have no idea how much it can make eachother's days... you'll feel so great about encouraging someone and they will feel so great because someone actually cares about them.

In my hiding place

I'm sitting on my bathroom floor right now... seriously...
This is the place I come when I'm a mess. I sit here and let it all go. I usually bring in my Bible and journal when I know that I'll need them.

There are probably several reasons as to why I feel this way. But I can't shake how uncannily familiar my feelings are to how they were almost exactly a year ago. So weird.

Hopefully I'll be feeling better soon so that I can actually work on my homework.

And hugs will be very welcomed for when I see you next!

New fortunes...

From Bona

Mine: "To affect the quality of the day is no small achievement."
Michelle's: "Don't waste time on what might have been."
Lisa's: "Suspense is exciting. I hope it lasts."


Now I'm going to apply these into each of our lives.

As for me, I was having a really grumpy day at work on Tuesday. I was supposed work 4-7, but Joe wanted to switch his closing shift with mine. I agreed as long as there would be enough pearls and royal tea when I got in. There were, but I should have clarified that I need an extra batch of each since it is frustrating to have to make more during the middle of a closing shift....Not only that, but I found it really annoying when one of my coworkers kept talking over me, didn't communicate very clearly, therefore I accidentally started pouring a drink in the wrong cup, she said something very condescending to me, snatched the cup away, and threw it away. The rest of the night I was nearly fuming. I had a great day up until then. I kept trying to change my attitude, but it was hard. After thinking about it when I got home, I made up my mind to not let it ruin my whole day. This fortune will be something I must remind myself of whenever I run into this sort of circumstance. I so easily fall into a bad mood when I'm treated without respect. Lesson learned? Hopefully.

As for Michelle, well... one word: Lynne. I know you are upset about the turn of events. I only know your side of the story, but please know that it never helps to agonize over the past. However, I do see that have moved on somewhat since you don't talk about it so much now. If I may offer you advice, I'd say to be the better person. When you see her, just treat her like you would an old friend. It would come as a surprise. And who knows? Maybe she's not out to get you. I haven't seen her making a scene when she sees you.

As for Lisa, k,..... so obvious. You have boy drama goin' on like crazy. Like, how many boys can chase after one girl? I don't know. But you sure have a lot. And chose the nice one!!! AWWWW He will treat you with so much respect. But, of course, you are at the "suspenseful" stage. The stage where feelings have not officially been declared. And you freaking can't keep your mind off of him! We will just have to wait and see what happens.

I have been enjoying my fortunes as of late

Last Tuesday I got two fortunes from Bona:

1) "Your smile always brightens the cloudiest days." :D This one made me happy, especially when someone told me it was true :] Sigh, such a nice compliment.

2) "Doors will be opening for you in many areas of your life." Bring it... can't wait to see what happens! haha

and tonight, Wen bought some Kowloon for our study date and my fortune said:

"A great pleasure in [your] life is doing what others say you can't." And this one is just true of me. Question: What did my friends think was completely crazy for me to do?? Answer: Playing the electric guitar... and look at what happened, I freakin learned how to shred (but ask me to now and i can't since i just haven't done it in years, sorry for the let down folks)! hehehe And who was forced to be the last resort to try to make a free throw to win a tied bball game in 9th grade gym class? Me. And who was the only one to make the free throw and actually win the game?? Yours truly :]

Aaaaanyway. Nuff said. And I like fortune cookies.

:]

My Korean Name is Finally Chosen

After a few changes and talking to several people, I have finally decided to stick with a Korean name!!! For those of you who can't read Korean, it sounds like so-eun. All the Koreans tell me it's beautiful! My friend picked it out for me. She asked me what my name means. I told her that Julia means youthful and that my middle name is Grace. So the "so" part is a syllable in a word that means youthful and the "eun" part means grace. Finally, I have found a beautiful name with a good meaning behind it!!! I'm rather excited :]

I couldn't say this better myself

We watched this video in my Mass Media & Ethics class today. I'm so happy I had a chance to see this. Jean Kilbourne accurately depicts the way women are affected by advertising and how it makes me feel as a young woman. Please watch it. I hope it can actually start a change in the way society views women.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/killing-us-softly-3/

Call me crazy...

...but I really would like to find a guy who wants to live in Korea... and be my other half. I've met several Koreans who plan to live in the U.S. And several Korean Americans who plan to go, but are already taken...

Do I really have to wait until I actually get to Korea??
I am a bit impatient. It seems like going for another year with nobody in sight will be frustrating. People call me picky. But, frankly, I'm not going to waste any time on being in a relationship that's doomed because I'm going to Korea and he's not. And even if I meet someone who wants to/is living in Korea doesn't mean I'll be attracted to him. It's not like I'm attracted to just any guy. I do have a so-called "type". And it's not like I'm picky about that either.

I will just have to wait.
And see.

Self-discovery is awesome

I've known for a while that I'm the kind of person that when asked to do something, or I know I need to get something done, I'll do it right away.

But I just realized that I apply this to homework. I realized that during the first week of classes each semester I'll look over all the due dates in the syllabus and start cramming in my homework for the first week straight away! Haahahaha! Don't get me wrong, I do pace myself, it's just that I need to try and control myself during the first week to not go overboard :]

Tired, all over

I need refreshment
I work all day
I stay out late
I get home and stay up all night
and then I wake up early the next morning to work all day again
stay out late again
stay up all night again.

Luckily, my relationships are strong. I wouldn't be able to make it if I didn't find time to spend time deepening my relationship with God and know such fun people. And have parents that care so much about me.

I really want to spend more time with my sister. Seeing my coworkers who are both sisters move in together and work at the same place and go to the same school makes me jealous.

More development on my future plans!!!

Lately I have noticed a passion arise in me concerning women, beauty, and being fake. It started when I noticed the way guys look at and talk about girls. Even the nice guys want girls with smokin' hot bodies and pretty faces. My heart broke as I realized how unattainable the beauty guys look for is for me. Of course, there is always plastic surgery. But, is it really worth the money, pain, and mental issues I would have to deal with? I have thought long and hard about the consequences of creating my own fake beauty.

It comes down to a vicious cycle. Many girls have become so good at putting on their beauty... but it's so fake! Makeup covers up my flaws and enhances the features I want people to notice. Push-up bras are sold anywhere underwear can be bought. I bet some of the hottest celebrities get boob jobs and nose jobs. Guys see these standards and expect them of even a typical girl! How dare we all give in to this! I do not have to go through so many hoops and spend so much to please a guy! Guys do not have to expect these standards from me! BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR.

I DO want to be recognized for my beauty... every girl does. But I don't want it to be a fake beauty. I want girls to be captivating because of the way they care about others.

Sooo, guess what I have learned recently????
Korean girls are obsessed with plastic surgery! And it appears to be quite rampant in their culture. I have been considering trying to become a flight attendant on Korean Air, which is known for hiring beautiful Korean girls.

Just today, I started thinking that it would be so amazing if I could land a job on Korean Air as a flight attendant amidst some of the most beautiful Korean women that have been influenced by a culture of abnormally high standards for beauty. If any of those women happen to question whether or not beauty is all they're good for, I can tell them, "No! No, it's not! You have so much more to offer!"

This is something worth pursuing.

Too many relationships are ending... :C

Sad

Fran and Simon just broke up. And it makes me sad :[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ very sad. I love them both so much. They were dating for like 8 years.

I love Michelle!

HI MICHELLE! haha! So you're pretty awesome and completely gorgeous and I'm so happy that you're back from Singapore. I want to hang out more often, especially since I feel abandoned now that everyone is gone for the summer :[ I will for sure get to hang out with you at work now, WOOHOO!

ENTJ/INTJ

ENTJ = extraverted, intuitive, thinking, judging

Approx. 3-5% of American population

ENTJs are great leaders and decision makers. They easily see possibilities in all things and are happy to direct others toward making their vision become a reality. They are ingenious thinkers and great long-range planners.
Because ENTJs are so logical and analytical, they are usually good at anything that requires reasoning and intelligence. Driven to achieve competence in all they do, they can naturally spot flaws that may exist in a situation and see immediately how to improve them. They strive to perfect systems rather than simply accept them as they are. ENTJs enjoy working with complex problem solving and are undaunted in their pursuit of mastery of anything they find intriguing. ENTJs value truth above all else and are convinced only by logical reasoning.
Eager to continually add to their base of knowledge, ENTJs are systematic about planning and researching new things. They enjoy working with complex theoretical problems and work toward the pursuit of anything they find intriguing. They are much more interested in the future consequences of actions than the present condition of things.
Natural leaders with a hearty and frank style, ENTJs tend to take charge of any situation they find themselves in. They are good organizers of people because they have the ability to see ahead and then communicate their vision to others. They tend to live by a rather strict set of rules and expect others to do so as well. Therefore, they tend to be challenging and push others as hard as they push themselves.


POSSIBLE BLIND SPOTS:

Owing to their desire to move on to the next challenge or toward their larger goal, ENTJs sometimes make decisions too hastily. Slowing down occasionally will give the chance to gather all relevant data, and consider both the practical and personal ramifications of their actions. Their actions orientation propels them to act on their decisions as soon as they are made rather than stopping to double check their facts and the realities of the situation.
Because ENTJs take a logical approach to life, they can be tough, blunt, impatient, and insensitive to the needs and feelings of others when they don’t see the logic of those feelings. ENTJs can be argumentative and difficult to approach and don’t often welcome the commonsense advice of others. Rather than automatically being critical, they need to listen to the input of those around them and express their appreciation for their contributions. ENTJs need to make a conscious effort—in fact to make it a rule—to stop and listen to others before charging ahead with their own ideas, and avoid acting domineering and dictatorial.
ENTJs’ impersonal approach to life leave little time, tolerance, or compassion for emotions, even their own. When they allow their feelings to go ignored or unexpressed, they can find themselves overreacting emotionally. They are particularly prone to this if they perceive someone to be questioning their competence, especially someone they respect. They can have explosive reactions to seemingly insignificant situations, and these outbursts can be hurtful to those close to them. ENTJs are more effective and happy when they give themselves time to consider and understand how they really feel. Giving their emotions a constructive outlet, rather than allowing them to take over their personalities, will actually allow them to stay more fully in control, a position they enjoy and strive for. Surprisingly, ENTJs may actually be less experienced and competent than their confident style indicates. They will increase their personal power and rate of success by allowing themselves to take some reasonable and valuable assistance from others.



INTJ

Approx. 2-3% of American population

INTJs are perfectionists. Their strong need for autonomy and personal competence, as well as their unshakable faith in their own original ideas, drives them to achieve their objectives.
Logical, critical, and ingenious, INTJs can see the consequences of the application of new ideas and live to see systems translated into real substance. They are demanding with themselves and others, and tend to drive others almost as hard as themselves. They are not particularly bothered by indifference or criticism. As the most independent of all types, INTJs prefer to do things their own way. They are usually skeptical, decisive, and determined in the face of opposition. They are not impressed with authority per se, but can conform to rules only if they see them as useful to their greater purpose.
With original minds, great insight, and vision, INTJs are natural brainstormers. They are naturally theoretical and work well with complex and global concepts. They are good strategic thinkers and can usually see with clarity the benefits and flaws of any situation. In subjects that interest them, they are fine organizers with insight and vision. If the idea or project is of their own making, they can invest incredible concentration, focus, energy, and drive. Their many accomplishments are achieved through determination and perseverance toward reaching or exceeding their high standards.


POSSIBLE BLIND SPOTS:

Being visionaries with sometimes unrealistically high standards, INTJs may expect too much from themselves and others. In fact, they tend not to care how they measure up to others’ standards; it is their own that are important. They may lack an understanding of how their behavior affects others and can be critical and blunt in giving recommendations for improvement. They don’t often encourage others to challenge their views or express any personal feelings. Because INTJs have a rather impersonal style, they may erroneously assume others wish to be treated in the same manner. They need to learn to understand the seemingly “illogical” feelings of others, and accept that they are rational and valid. This will help keep them from alienating and offending those around them.
Because INTJs often chose to be alone and are single-minded in their efforts, they can neglect to invite others to participate or assist in their activities. Soliciting the input and suggestions of others can help them recognize and impractical idea earlier in the process, or help them make the necessary changes and improvements before investing huge amounts of time.
Increased effectiveness for INTJs lies in making an effort to yield on less important points to win the more important ones. This will also decrease the likelihood of the INTJ becoming too stubborn and controlling. When they make an effort to adopt a more accepting approach to life and their dealings with others, INTJs will achieve more balance, competence, and succeed at having more of their innovations accepted by the world.

One of my favorite pasttimes is swinging. I love to feel the wind, listen to my favorite tunes, see pretty parks, and contemplate life. I was at my parents' house last night and there is a playground a block away from our house. I told my dad at 11:00 at night that I wanted to go swinging. Since it was late I knew he would be concerned, but he let me anyway. Their neighborhood feels so much safer to me now that I can compare it to the neighborhood my apartment is in. While I was swinging, my dad was walking by and he was talking on the phone with my mom. A little bit later, a cop car drove past and a few seconds later it turned around and they shone their flashlight at me. I figured they would. Oh well, they didn't make a big fuss. I was afraid they would tell me to leave, but since my dad walked over, he told the cop that I am "older than I look" and that I'm nearly 21. Oh Dad, you make me feel like I am still your baby girl. I at least don't think I look REALLY young, do I? There was no big fuss and he left me alone. I think the next time I take a late night swing, I might have to carry my license on me.

Speaking of swinging, I went swing dancing for the first time on Thursday. I have been trying to go for weeks. I just never could go on Thursdays, when the two most popular places here do it, until my classes finished for the Summer. On Wednesday, I heard from a couple of my friends that one of my friends was going swing dancing with a group of people. I gave them a call and we actually made plans for him to take me. I was so pumped. This guy knew that I've been trying to go dancing for weeks. Well, Thursday afternoon he texted me and said that his group cancelled their plans, but I could still try to find a group to go. Yuck. I knew right away that that meant I was not going. I can never get anybody to do the things I want to. I asked all of my friends I knew on campus and even some from off campus. I could only get one girl who lives in Richfield to agree to go. At this point, I just looked up the bus routes to get there, because I knew I had no ride, but I was still planning on going. I was a little concerned that once I got there, it would only be old men and impossible to find someone to dance with. I still decided to take that chance and went out to the bus stop. While I was waiting, my friend from Richfield called and said that her car wouldn't start. "Welp," I thought to myself, "I guess I'm going alone." I missed the first bus. It passed me as I was walking out to the bus stop. I waited for about a half an hour for the next one to reach me. That bus ride was boring and long. It was the opposite of fun. I had to make a transfer, but missed that bus too and the next one wasn't coming for 45 minutes. "Welp," I thought to myself again, "I guess I'm walking there." I asked a kind looking woman how to get to Wabasha St. She pointed me in the right direction, but then aksed where I was trying to get to. I told her I needed to get to Plato St. Luckily, she was going in the same direction and told me to take a different bus, which would arrive in about minutes. Yay! My night was saved. When I saw my destination, I got so excited! I always feel so proud of myself in situations like this. This is the kind of situation where I thought there was no chance of me ever getting to go and yet I made it happen! They were in the middle of lessons when I arrived. I noticed that the boys and girls were lined up in separate lines. I didn't really have room to join in, so I turned the line into a little L. The teacher told the gentlemen to grab their partners. It was awful, I noticed that everyone came with someone. I made a note to myself to insure that I bring someone the next time I come. One of the teachers looked around and found a partner for me. He looked like he was in high school and was totally blushing. The teacher said, "I found one for you, and look, he's a cute one!" I didn't care, I was there to swing dance and I would dance with anyone. But then a girl he came with walked over and I was like, "Oh did you come with her?" and I let them dance together. So I had to practice with one of the teachers... which ultimately helped me because she was already pretty good and helped me out. When the music started, I at least thought that it would be fun to sit, watch, and listen. I love big band music even if I'm not dancing. I found a good spot and enjoyed watching. A group of college students came in. They were really fun to watch! They were really good! Then one of them came up to me leaned over, offered his hand and said, "Would you care to dance?" I smiled, said, "Sure!" and took his hand. He was cute and even more attractive since he was a pretty stellar dancer. Even though I slowed him down, he had a good attitude and it was really fun. Then I went back to my spot and watched until the next boy asked me to dance. He wasn't quite as confident as the other, but he was still a good dancer. The first song was pretty slow, so he was asking me all these questions. I thought it was a little funny that his response when I asked him where he's from was, "I'm from Ohio, I'm a missionary." And he didn't eplain it at all. I had no idea if he was a missionary in Minnesota or what he meant. I didn't care too much, because I was having fun being able to dance again. Later, I sat for the rest of the time and watched people go nutso on the dancefloor. Fun, fun, fun. My notes for next time are: 1. Wear my fun navy polka dot dress 2. Wear heels and 3. BRING SOMEONE.

I have been quite busy with filling my time with hanging out with friends, doing yoga, and going swing dancing. All of these things are fun, but at the end of the day it is always the time I spent doing something for someone else that makes my day worth it.

Freshman year COMPLETED!!!

I just finished my first year of college! Wohoo! And to celebrate I am watching Community. Yeah I know, I could be spending time with real people. But I also get to read Forgotten God and sip some tea without the daunting due dates of homework and tests looming. It . feels . NICE.

...

When I was walking in my building to my room, I saw a policewoman going to my CA's room. There was a middle aged man in the doorway. The door was propped open all the way. The lights were off. And a girl was bitterly sobbing. I suddenly felt really strange and slightly scared. I felt the way you do when something might be horribly wrong.

i have been staying up really late. ugh. i should get off now. yeah.

My Korean Oral Final ^^;

This is with translation... I'm 줄 and my friend, Michelle, is 미.

줄 : 안녕하세요. Hi!

미 : 안녕하세요. Hi!

줄 : 미셸씨, 오늘 예뻐요. Michelle, you look pretty today!

미 : 감사합니다. 줄리아씨, 무슨 옷 좋아해요? Thanks! Julia, what kind of clothes do you like?

줄 : 저는 예쁜 셔츠와 청바지 좋아해요. 미셸씨는 무슨 옷 좋아해요? I like pretty shirts and jeans. Michelle, what kind of clothes do you like?

미 : 셔츠하고 치마를 좋아하지만 겨울 자켓은 싫어해요. I like shirts and skirts, but I don't like winter jackets.

줄 : 아 그래요? 여름 좋아해요? Ah, really? Do you like the summer?

미 : 네, 날씨가 따뜻해서 좋아해요. 줄리아씨는요? Yes, I like warm weather. Julia, what about you?

줄 : 네 저도 여름 좋아해요. Yes, I also like the summer.

미 : 줄리아씨, 이번 여름방학에 뭐 할거에요? Julia, what are you going to do this Summer break?

줄 : 집에 있을거에요. 그리고 일하면서 수업 들을거에요. 미셸씨는 여름방학에 뭐할거에요? I'm staying at home. I'm also working while taking classes. Michelle, what are you going to do during Summer break?

미 : 여름방학에 싱가폴에 갈 거에요. I'm going to go to Singaport this Summber break.

줄 : 싱가폴에서 금색 샌달을 사줄수 있어요? 싱가폴 샌달은 너무 예뻐요! In Singapore, can you please buy me gold sandals? Singapare sandals are very pretty!

***Sidenote: Michelle is actually going to try to bring me back some gold Havaianas!!

미 : 네. 샌달을 사올게요. Yeah, I'll buy you sandals.

줄 : 싱가폴에서 뭐하고 싶어요? What do you want to do in Singapore?

미 : 싱가폴에서 가족을 보고 친구도 만나고 잘 먹고 쇼핑하고 스쿠버다이빙하고 싶어요. I want to see my family, meet up with my friends, eat a lot of food, go shopping, and go scuba diving.

줄 : 싱가폴에서 태어나서 자랐죠? You were born and raised in Singapore, right?

미 : 네, 싱가폴에서 태어나서 자랐어요. Yeah, I was born and raised in Singapore.

줄 : 가족이 몇명이에요? How big is your family?

미 : 네명 있어요. We have four people.

줄 : 몇째에요? What's your birth order?

미 : 저는 첫째딸이에요. 줄리아씨 가족은 몇명이에요? I'm the first daughter. Julia, how big is your family?

줄 : 제 가족은 여섯명 있어요. My family has six people.

미 : 우와. 많아요. 줄리아씨는 몇쨰에요? Woah, that's a lot. Julia, what's your birth order?

줄 : 저는 셋째에요. I'm the third child.

미 : 줄리아씨 어디에서 태어나서 자랐어요? Julia, where were you born and raised?

줄 : 미네소타에서 태어나서 자랐어요. Minnesota.

미 : 줄리아씨 어머니는 미네소타 음식을 요리잘해요? Julia, does your mom cook Minnesotan food well?

줄 : 네, 미네소타 음식을 요리잘하세요. Yes, she cooks Minnesotan food well.

미 : 줄리아씨 요리하기 좋아해요? Julia, do you like cooking?

줄 : 가끔 요리 좋아해요.빵 만들기가 요리보다 더 좋아요. Sometime. I like baking bread more than cooking.

미 : 오 줄리아씨 빵 만들수 있어요? Oh, Julia, you can bake bread?

줄 : 네, 자주 만들어요. 미셸씨 어머니는 요리하기 좋아하세요? Yeah, I make it a lot. Michelle, do you like your mom's cooking?

미 : 아니요. 어머니는 요리하기 싫어해요. 하지만 할머니는 요리하기 좋아하세요. No. I dislike it. But I like my grandma's cooking.

줄 : 무슨 음식을 요리 하실 수 있어요? What kind of food can she cook?

미 : 할머니는 아시아 음식을 요리하실 수 있어요. 그리고 할머니가 요리하는 음식은 정말 맛있어요. She can cook Asian food and it's very delicious.

줄 : 미셸씨는 요리하기 좋아해요? Michelle, do you like to cook?

미 : 네. 저는 요리하기 정말 좋아해요. Yeah, I really like to cook.

줄 : 우리 같이 요리 할래요? Would you like to cook together sometime?

미 : 네, 그럼요. 줄리아씨 지금 일 하세요? Yeah. Julia, do you have a job right now?

줄 : 네, 티가든에서 일하고 있어요. Yeah, I'm working at Tea Garden.

미 : 오! 진짜요? 저도 여름방학에 티가든에서 일할거에요. Oh! Really? I'm also going to work there this summer.

줄 : 아 그래요? 언제부터 시작해요? Ah, really? When do you start?

미 : 유월 십사일부터 시작해요. 줄리아씨는 무슨 차 좋아해요? June 14th. Julia, what kind of tea do you like?

줄 : 다 좋아해요. 특히 녹차를 좋아해요. I like all tea. I particularly like green tea.

미 : 보통 차 마시면서 뭐해요? What do you usually do while you drink tea?

줄 : 숙제해요. 숙제가 많아서 차를 자주 마셔요. 미셸씨는 차 마셔요? I do homework. I have a lot of homework, so I drink a lot of tea. Michelle, do you drink tea?

미 : 네. 차는 몸에 좋아서 많이 마셔요. Yeah, tea is good for you so I drink a lot.

줄 : 무슨 차가 몸에 좋아요? What kind of tea is good for you?

미 : 녹차가 몸에 좋대요. Green tea.

줄 : 아 그래요? 저는 일본 녹차 아이스크림을 정말 좋아해요. 미셸씨는 아이스크림 좋아해요? Oh, really? I really like Japanese green tea ice cream. Michelle, do you like ice cream?

미 : 예. 너무 좋아해요. 특히 초콜렛 아이스크림을 좋아해요. Yeah, I like it very much. I particularly like chocolate ice cream.

줄 : 이번주말에 같이 아이스크림 먹을래요? Would you like to eat ice cream this weekend?

미 : 네 같이 먹으러 가요. 남자친구도 와도 돼요? Yeah, we should go together. Can I bring my boyfriend?

줄 : 그래요. 이번 주말에 봐요. 안녕히 가세요~ Ok. We should try this weekend. Bye!

my latest words.

go on, take your chalk and trace around me
fill me in the way you think i should be
can't imagine how i'd be if i were
truly myself, it would be great i'm sure
you start, but you leave me, still, quite empty
i'm left needy. feel my tears, set them free
they'll wash away your lines, i'll feel more pure
truly myself, it just takes a savior.

First year of college... almost done?

What? No way! It was just barely even a year ago that I decided I wanted to GO to college. Now here I am, nearly finished with my first year.

The happy, middle-aged, Asian man at the checkout counter at Rainbow today asked me if I was excited for summer. He asked me if I was going to have fun. I just can't believe that summer is almost here. I told him that I'd be taking classes, so I'll have as much fun as I can make of it.

My original summer plans were to take a summer class, work, and stay on campus. Then I found out I'd have to go see Mari in LA when she has her baby. Later, I was hoping to scrap the whole "stay here" thing and book it to Korea. I'm not 100% decided yet, but I think I just may end up STAYING here. I'll take the two courses I signed up for. Most of my shifts at work will be closing shifts I bet. And I just know that if staying is what God really needs me to do, that He has something rolled up His sleeve... something surprising... hopefully. Let me know if and when you'll be in Minneapolis! I don't wanna get lonely!